Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
