Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
