thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
