DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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