am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
