Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
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