Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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