i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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