I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
