Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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