What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
