im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
