i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
