I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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