I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
