let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
