Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
