I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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