Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I wish I only lived at night.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
