when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Randomize
