Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
