I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
