She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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