I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
