I'm jealous of your bromance
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
