I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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