a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Brb crying the tears of my youth
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
