My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize