note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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