my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
