It's Friday. Sex?
he wants to bone in the snuggie
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I have post one night stand depression
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