just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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