i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
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