I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
