Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.