We're like a lot better than the average bears
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
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