I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
