It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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