I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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