The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
