yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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