My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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