idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
