Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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