For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize