dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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