Whod you bang
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
