with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
why does every cop we meet know your name?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
