All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
