wat bout pragnant strippers??
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
