Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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