Yo dont text me then not text me
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
