brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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