Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I can't turn off my feet"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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