It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
