as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
