Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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