..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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