i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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