All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
