I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
